Glume despre sah (in engleza)
Submitted by ANdrei on Thu, 03/11/2004 - 10:56
1.What's the difference between road construction crews and chess players?
Chess players still move occasionally.
2.What do you call a Catholic Priest who doesn't know how to play chess?
A Bad Bishop
3.What do you call a blonde who does know how to play chess?
"One in a million"
4.What do new chess players and newlyweds have in common?
They both enjoy studying new mating positions.
5.
Q: Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, an egotistical grandmaster, and a humble grandmaster are trapped in a lifeboat with provisions enough for just one person. Which one survives?
A: The egotistical grandmaster. Everyone knows there's no such thing as Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or a humble grandmaster.
6.
Two friends decide that they're going to get together at a local coffee shop and play a series of Blitz games. The first of them that wins 10 games will win $10.
Well, after playing through 18 games, the score was tied 9-9. Now they were getting serious, and both were very well focused on the final game.
As the game goes on, both of they're time controls are down to below 30 seconds. Player number one studies the board for just a moment, and notices that he has a beautiful combination that will give him a checkmate in 4. It was a beautiful setup. Player number two also sees this, but is crossing his fingers hoping that player number one makes the wrong move.
Just as player number one was making his move, a funeral procession drives down the street. Player 1 stands up and bows his head and the rest of the time remaining on his clock dwindles away. Player number 2 is elated for the win, but also tells his friend how wonderful it was that he took that time to pay respects to the recently deceased. Player number 1 says, "Well, it was the least I could do. Tomorrow we would have been married for 25 years!"
7.
A man and his friend meet at the chess club and decide to play a round of chess together. The man has a little dog with him and in the first game, when the man mates with a devastating skewer, the little dog starts to yip and stands up on its hind legs. The friend is quite amazed at this clever trick and says, "That dog is really talented! What does he do if you make a blunder?" "Somersaults," says the man. "Somersaults?!" says the friend, "That's incredible. How many does he do?" "Hmmm," says the man. "That depends on how hard I kick him."
Chess players still move occasionally.
2.What do you call a Catholic Priest who doesn't know how to play chess?
A Bad Bishop
3.What do you call a blonde who does know how to play chess?
"One in a million"
4.What do new chess players and newlyweds have in common?
They both enjoy studying new mating positions.
5.
Q: Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, an egotistical grandmaster, and a humble grandmaster are trapped in a lifeboat with provisions enough for just one person. Which one survives?
A: The egotistical grandmaster. Everyone knows there's no such thing as Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or a humble grandmaster.
6.
Two friends decide that they're going to get together at a local coffee shop and play a series of Blitz games. The first of them that wins 10 games will win $10.
Well, after playing through 18 games, the score was tied 9-9. Now they were getting serious, and both were very well focused on the final game.
As the game goes on, both of they're time controls are down to below 30 seconds. Player number one studies the board for just a moment, and notices that he has a beautiful combination that will give him a checkmate in 4. It was a beautiful setup. Player number two also sees this, but is crossing his fingers hoping that player number one makes the wrong move.
Just as player number one was making his move, a funeral procession drives down the street. Player 1 stands up and bows his head and the rest of the time remaining on his clock dwindles away. Player number 2 is elated for the win, but also tells his friend how wonderful it was that he took that time to pay respects to the recently deceased. Player number 1 says, "Well, it was the least I could do. Tomorrow we would have been married for 25 years!"
7.
A man and his friend meet at the chess club and decide to play a round of chess together. The man has a little dog with him and in the first game, when the man mates with a devastating skewer, the little dog starts to yip and stands up on its hind legs. The friend is quite amazed at this clever trick and says, "That dog is really talented! What does he do if you make a blunder?" "Somersaults," says the man. "Somersaults?!" says the friend, "That's incredible. How many does he do?" "Hmmm," says the man. "That depends on how hard I kick him."